One of the speakers on the XXXChurch team ended his own life yesterday, and I don’t know how to handle it.  His name is Steve Glisan.  You can watch his story by clicking here.  I loved Steve, but I never told him so.

I first met Steve at a Porn and Pancakes event in Colorado.  Because of the places it took him, his porn addiction resulted in a loss of his wife and three kids.  After years apart, he found help and his marriage was restored.  That, my friends, is why he spoke for XXXChurch.  The story of Steve and Ann Glisan was powerful.

I’m told he recently gave in to temptation and slipped up again… that he decided to handle the guilt by removing himself from this planet.  After all the heartache his family went through before, I cannot understand this decision.  Surely he had to know this was the worst possible choice?  I guess not.  Steve, who regularly blogged for XXXChurch under the name Steve G, is gone.

Read more or make a difference.

A question that has often been brought up here amongst the comments is the question of choice. Are homeless people who appear to be homeless by choice less deserving of compassion or assistance than others? If they do indeed choose this lifestyle why should anyone interfere, why should anyone go out of their way or put their hands in their pockets to help them?

Rarely does anyone ever choose to become homeless. I won’t deny the existence of a tiny minority of Robinson Crusoe types that put on their backpacks and drop out of society, favoring a simple lifestyle of woodland living. Some people do this for a relatively short period, more like an extended camping trip but there are very, very few indeed that maintain this lifestyle for a protracted amount of time. Of the remaining ninety-nine percent the reasons for becoming homeless are many and varied but whatever the initial cause of their homelessness and despite all the programs and shelters and missions that are available today some do appear to remain homeless by choice. If you actually ask homeless people why with all the services available do they prefer to stay on the streets, some will even tell you that they choose to be homeless. But do they really? The reality is a lack of suitable alternatives.

The following are some of the main reasons why homeless people choose homelessness over the available services:

1. Safety
Many homeless people avoid using shelter services for fear that their personal safety could be compromised. Whilst most shelters take precautions where practical they are often run, through necessity, on skeleton staff levels of volunteers who are likely not professionally qualified to deal with violent conduct and as such cannot guarantee personal safety. There may well be violent offenders, addicts and mentally imbalanced individuals sharing the room in which you would be expected to sleep.

2. Personal belongings
Homeless people travel light. They own very little and you can be sure that the few things they do possess and carry are either necessary for their survival or they consider the items very precious. They protect the few belongings that they do have tenaciously. Most shelters do not have secure storage available which means that personal belongings can be left lying around and vulnerable to theft.

3. Pets
Homeless people are socially excluded. If they are spoken to at all by the general population it is more often than not to be jeered at. Sometimes they can go weeks, months or even years without speaking to a single soul. This isolation can be one of the most difficult aspects homeless people have to deal with. Many would rather share what little food they can gather with a dog in exchange for the companionship they provide than be completely alone. It is not hard to understand why they would be reluctant to give this up but very few shelters or state supported accommodation programs make provisions for pets.

4. Health Hazards
Death and homelessness go hand in hand. The average age at death of a homeless person in America can be as low as 41 years depending on the state you live in. Homeless people often have difficulty in accessing medical care. Poor diet and exposure to the elements can mean that a relatively minor injury or disease could prove fatal. The risk of picking up an infection is massively increased when using shelter services.

5. Control
Shelter living effectively means being told what time you have to go to bed, what time you have to get up, what you are going to eat and what time you are going to eat it at. It likely also means limited availability as to what times you are able to use washing facilities. In essence your freedom is restricted and your life no longer your own.

6. Daytime Hours
Most shelters are nighttime only. This means that come the morning (and it is usually very early) you have just a short time to get your gear together before being turned back out onto the streets. It matters not whether it might be rain, sleet, snow or hail, you have to leave and you may not return prior to the time allotted for opening the following evening. If you show up late, no matter what the reason may be, this will usually result in missing your spot for that night. That is, of course, if there were any beds left available in the first place.

7. Addictions
Although the common held stereotypical myth that all homeless people are addicts and alcoholics is not true, there is a significant proportion that do suffer from alcoholism and/or substance abuse issues. There are also a great number of them trying desperately to kick these habits. In order to have a realistic chance of breaking the cycle it is necessary to avoid associating with other addicts wherever possible and staying away from places where they are likely to hangout. For many, this means staying away from shelters.

8. Privacy
People need personal space. Staying in a shelter means sharing a dormitory, sharing a meal room and sharing bathroom facilities with fifty or so other residents. Ever tried sleeping in a room full of fifty other people all chatting, laughing, coughing, snoring and breaking wind? It is worth remembering that some of these emergency ’shelters’ consist of no more than a mattress on a church floor. It may be warmer than the streets but it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be able to get more sleep.

9. Intrusion and Anonymity
Many state programs require a very intrusive application process. It can mean disclosing highly personal and potentially embarrassing information. Personal history, family background, police and medical records and financial history are all fair game. There are many reasons why anybody would prefer to keep certain things quiet. Some maybe sinister but others can be tragic. It is widely believed that a significant proportion of missing persons are homeless people.

10. Required Religion
A large percentage of homeless shelters have a religious affiliation. Not all but many of those that do have one impose a requirement to attend religious services in order for a person to be granted access to their food and shelter facilities. This can, of course, be offensive to some and particularly those who belong to an ethnic minority, which tend to be over-represented amongst the homeless population.

This is not intended in any way to be an attack on the services offered by rescue missions and shelters. In fact, I strongly believe that they do a fantastic job of providing an invaluable service with very limited resources. The truth is that they do their best to fill a huge void caused largely by societal and political shortcomings and the homelessness situation would be very much worse than it already is were it not for their efforts. Unfortunately though they cannot realistically be expected to provide an effective solution with the available finances and other resources at their disposal.

Do homeless people ever really choose to be homeless? No, not really. Still not convinced? Well next time you see a homeless person sleeping on the streets try dangling the keys to your nice plush suburban home under his or her nose. Inform them that the central heating is fired up, the fridge is fully stocked and there is fresh linen. Tell them Fido is welcome, they can have their friends over and they can come and go as they please. I can guarantee their will be a dozen proverbial shopping carts parked in your driveway come lunchtime.

A lot of people seem to think this is a really good idea… I think it’s absolute madness. I don’t mean to insult those people, or Dave, I just can’t imagine NOT having a credit card. I mean, what if I was stranded in Mexico with no money on me… no problem, Credit Card to the rescue (accepted where ever the “Master Card” or “Visa” logos are displayed). I’m not sure how I might find myself stranded in Mexico, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! And they say cut it up – yeah right, don’t they know we’re best friends.

Or maybe a more likely example (though some might think less likely), imagine I’m out on a date only to find I’m a few bucks short – how would you get your way out of that one… start washing dishes, ask her to cover the tip? I think not. Credit Card to the rescue… again. Sure, you pay the price of slavery to debt/credit, but at least you have The Power Of The Card whenever you need it – just one swipe and all your problems disappear (until the end of the month, and then they gang up on you).

Anyway, today I went and got myself a “pre-paid debit card”… apparently they work like credit cards, only without the credit. I figure this is the obivous step to weaning myself off my credit card. I’m starting to think it wont do all the things my credit card does – specifically international payments over the internet (it would be a real pain to pay through other methods).

The obvious problem with credit cards, is the “credit”. Sure, when you get it you promise yourself (and those around you) that you’re only going to spend money you really have, but that doesn’t always work out so well. So what’s the best way to go about cutting up your credit card (possibly “metaphorically”, in my case). While cutting it up on the spur of the moment may seem like a really good idea, what if you don’t have any other money to get through the month? Then what’re you going to do – spounge of other people, and pay them back at the end of the month? That’s still credit. Or you might go running back for a new card… which you’ll have to pay for… making you worse off than when you started.

The other option is to wait until the end of the month, pay it off, and then cut it up… which in my case wouldn’t leave much cash left over to make it through the month… leaving me running back for another card. So my thinking is… get paid at the end of the month, keep the money, and cut up the card. Oh… and pay the minimum amount on my credit card that I have to, and then save some money to pay off extra the next month, until it’s paid off. Sure I’d be paying interest on the money owed on my credit card, but who said freedom was free? (which I guess makes it a bit of an oxymoron in this case).

The other thing my credit card does for me (as mentioned previously) is take all the effort out of payments – all my bills are linked to my credit card, and just go off whenever… and I don’t check my statements… ever… like not even at the end of the year – how’s that for bravery (or laziness). I’m not sure whether to leave this system in place (even with out a card the account still exists, and money would still be deducted), or start paying for all those things manually. Like I said, it’s those international payments I’m worried about, though I think I’d be quite shocked if I saw the money I was spending each month without realising it.

Perhaps the day will come when I cut up my card – I mean, it’s a good principle… until you’re stranded in Mexico – but it might only be after this year’s Christmas shopping, which will be just before it expires and my new card arrives. Wish me luck :)

(On a closing note, Dave Ramsey’s incredibly smart and funny, and I’d have to be a fool not to listen to him – and you know what they say about a fool and his money… co-incidence? me think-eths not)

You can watch Dave Ramsey by clicking on this link: http://www.lifechurch.tv/message-archive/watch/life-money-hope/1

They recently moved to Las Vegas (aka “Sin City”), and have this van/bus that they’re using to shuttle people around for an opportunity to share the gospel with them. Did I mention how much I think these guys rock? ;) Totally awesome…

Check out http://www.xxxchurch.tv and http://www.stripchurch.com for more info.

I’m married, and if you are too, then statistically speaking, one of us is going to get a divorce.

I’m not writing that to be sensational, but I just want to be clear that it’s a big deal. And I don’t know if we Christians do a very good job of treating it as such.

Look at it this way: if one out of every two neighbors on your street got mauled by a bear, would you be more careful about bears? Would you buy books on how to keep your house safe from bears? Would you carry a gun and bear spray if there were in fact such a thing as bear spray? Probably. Yet, when it comes to divorce, we don’t do many equivalent things. And the ratios are equally as high as that bear scenario.

Continue reading here: http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/02/73-getting-caught-off-guard-by-divorce.html

It’s not like God requires a whole lot from us

[Micah 6:6-8]

Look again at what the prophet Micah wrote that God DOESN’T want.

If we’re not demonstrating our love for other people, God doesn’t want our worship. Now there’s a lot of talk, reaching, and preaching about having your heart right with God before any kind of true worship can occur. Okay, but that’s only HALF the truth. The other half is this: Unless your behavior toward other people is merciful, no amount of worship you aim at God scores with him. Even following the righteous example ofa patriarch like Abraham, who was willing to butcher his own son if God asked him to, doesn’t score with God.
(page 8)

And…

Don’t just stand there believing!
Imagine if a guest speaker preached at your church on a Sunday morning and said things like this:

Your faith is only as good as what you do, starting with taking care of the physical needs of people who have less than you do. If you’re stealing, stop it, and instead get a job so you have enough to give to those in need. If you, having more than you need, see someone who doesn’t have enough and is actually in need, how can you not have pity on them and share what you have? If you truly have God’s love in you, then don’t just talk about it – put some feet to it!*

*In case you’re wondering these are pretty darn accurate rephrasigins of James 2:14-17, Ephesians 4:28, and 1 John 3:17-18, respectively
(page 22)

The Rule of Abstinence
Some Christians argue that because alcohol is so easily abused, a godly Christian would never drink it. But if you follow that line of logic, you’ll also conclude that since sex is so easily abused by so many peaopl, a godly Christian would also abstain from all sexual activity. Or since money can so easily corrupt, a godly Christian will stay poor, or become poor if he’s rich. Yet nobody would say that about sex or money. God intended money, sex and alcohol to be blessings to man. And they are a source of blessing when used within the boundry of his moral law.
(page 31)

Bill also talks alot about Christian “add-on” rules, and how dangers they are. For example:

Other Christian Add-on Rules
I could provide a lengthy list of spiritual rules that would be as varied as the groups that enforce them. I know believers who judge others based on such things as:

* musical preference
* clothing style
* expressions of worship
* health (poor health shows lack of faith)
* wealth
* dancing
* hairstyle
* politcal views
* body piercing and tattoos

Of course the immediate response by many who insist on these standards is predictable: “If youdon’t live like that, unbelievers will view Christians as no different than the world.”

If you think that way I hate to burst your bubble, but unbelievers don’t care. It’s irrelevant to them how much you give to your church, whether you enjoy an occasional glass of wine, or whether you read your Bible every day. They care a lot more about how you treat them when they work as a chasier at the grocery store, or how you behave at your child’s sporting events, or whether you give to the drive to raise money for a local charity.
(page 36)